Mental Health

    The mental health of us humans is important. They say, "you are never alone," but saying that really never helps. It never really makes you feel like you're not alone. Being alone is something a lot of us can't handle well. Back in the day, when I was a teen, I embraced being alone excluding my mom, sister and my awesome circle of friends. No one could hurt you, make you feel less than what you already do, belittle you, and the biggest one of all, you don't feel even worse still because there aren't many folks around to tell you or act like they don't care about how you feel. Let's face it, we humans don't care how others feel and we get upset when no one cares about how we feel. It's a circle.

    That is an example of the thoughts that used to run through my head. I'm not going to lie; it still does from time to time. One gets in their own way by talking ill about themselves. From my experiences, and the time I have spent trying to figure myself out, negative self-talk is one of many ways that one gets in their own way. I've missed out on some opportunities because I put myself down so much. All that time, wasted because of other people's shitty and fucked up construed perceptions and judgments. All that time wasted because I let the opinions of others stop me.

    It blows my mind how far the importance of the mental health of a person has come, especially for men. I've had my troubles with depression and anxiety since the age of 13. I've had my own battles with drugs and alcohol. I've hung out with the wrong people to have a sense of belonging. I've also worked as a direct care worker in behavioral/mental health for 13 years. During all this time I have learned and watched the world change its view of mental health for all and for men. Used to, men had to bury everything deep down so they wouldn't be ridiculed for being soft, a crybaby, a bitch, told to be a man, etc etc.

    Now, it is rather accepted that men too need mental help sometimes. Example, the men that fought in World War I that had shell-shock. Those men were treated horribly because they were seen as weak. Never mind what blasts from constant shelling can do to the mind, body and soul to a person. There is still a way to go but I'm seeing more and more that people are accepting that men face challenges they can't handle by themselves.

     There is a problem that some men, such as me, still face: letting those trying to help in. Why do we not let others in? I can't answer for others but, for me, conversations don't help. I don't blame others for this because I don't let others in. I pretend to be okay, a lot, around everyone I know and see. I don't want them asking me, "what's wrong?" and I don't want to bring them down because that is more important than how I feel. Read that sentence again. I'll wait. Furthermore, there aren't very many people I trust to let in so deep. Like Jelly Roll said, "I guess rock bottom is where I'm comfortable".

    People's actions really give away how they are feeling. Example, when I'm feeling sad or in deep sorrow for whatever reason, I listen to the band Opeth. They are very nostalgic for me, and it helps me feel a little better. It causes me to face what has me in a state of sorrow. Or I'll listen to Buckethead if I don't want song lyrics to make me feel things. Songs like "Creature" by Jelly Roll I avoid Like he is the mother fucking plague. I relate to the lyrics way too much. So much so that it makes me cry. I can't even so much as hear it or even read the words.

    I leave with this: If you have a friend that is silent about how they feel most of the time, when they try to open up, encourage that person. Show them that it is okay to feel how they feel and that you will actively listen by not saying a word and acknowledging what is being said to you. Avoid giving unsolicited advice. It can make your friend feel worse. Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen and not get defensive about things.